UnLucky
by Kateko
Summary: Axel reflects on his luck and his feelings. Onesided AxelxRoxas. Shounenai, don't like, don't read


**A/N: **I was writing something else downstairs at night, and I'd accidentally left the window open so it was freezing. So I went and sat in front of the fireplace for a while to warm up, and this idea popped into my head!

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It was just his luck, really.

Axel sighed, sitting on the dark red sofa in his bedroom. Life had gotten more complicated lately, and this dark, cold night seemed to him a fitting one to stay up and think about these complications.

_No, _he thought, shaking his head. _Not complications. Complication. One. _There was only one complication that was keeping him up - but it was one of the biggest complications he'd faced as long as he could remember.

_Roxas. _

Just thinking the name gave him a mixed reaction. Part of him grinned ecstatically and jumped for joy, cheering that the two of them were together in Organization XIII, able to see each other every day. He got to eat with him, talk with him..._be _with him.

But on the other hand...

They were part of the Organization. Nothing was going to come of Axel's feelings, and he knew that too well. He couldn't make them known, even, for fear of the others' reactions. And not just of everyone else's...of Roxas'. He was the unluckiest person in the world - he had fallen in love with his best friend, and knew full well there was nothing he could do about it.

Axel rested his head in his hands, muttering to himself. "It doesn't matter, even if you _could _tell him..." Surely, there was no way Roxas would feel the same way. In fact...there should have been no way Axel could feel this way to begin with. He was a Nobody...no heart, right?

"I guess nobody told my body about that rule," he muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair in self-pitying exasperation. He was beginning to suspect that it was a lie...because if it wasn't his heart, then there was something else that was hitting the bottom of his stomach every time he saw Roxas.

He shook his head. There was too much in the way. Too many obstacles between where he was and what he wanted. He stretched out on the couch to think more. First off, it simply wasn't _permitted_- it was Larxene's arrival that had spawned the official declaration of that rule. No romantic relationships between members. Axel couldn't remember if it was an actual rule or if it was more of an unspoken law among the members. But it didn't matter. It was still the simple truth.

_And lets pretend that rule didn't exist, _he thought to himself. _There would still be the matter of telling him. _Axel couldn't do that. He didn't want to have to deal with the risk of rejection, and he didn't want to put their friendship on the line. Roxas meant more to him than anything. He needed Roxas as a friend, if he couldn't have him as more than that. And he knew full well he couldn't.

And even if he was willing to ask him, willing to put all that on the line, there was still the biggest problem yet: there was simply no way that Roxas returned his feelings. Axel figured his luck just wasn't good enough for that to happen. He had bad luck, and he knew it. His toast landed butter side down, one sock out of each pair went missing, and his love was unrequited. It was his luck.

"And now I'm the unlucky moron who fell in love with his best friend," he breathed, annoyed. He didn't know why he was still awake, mulling this over. It wasn't such a good idea in hindsight, he figured. Now he was never going to get to sleep and wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Roxas. "What an idiot."

He was pulled out of his misery by a knock at the door. "What the..." he asked quietly, standing and approaching the entrance to his room as the knocks repeated themselves.

Axel pulled the oak doors opened and had to fight back a groan. There, looking half asleep and quite uncomfortable, stood the last person on earth he wanted to see right now, and yet the one person he wanted to see every second of the day.

"Hey Axel," Roxas greeted briefly. "You weren't asleep, were you?"

Axel raised an eyebrow and smiled. It wasn't a real smile - it was a sarcastic smile, a smile that perfectly hid what he was really feeling. "What, at only three in the morning? No way, not me."

Roxas smiled apologetically. "Sorry...it's just...it's really cold tonight. I'm freezing. I couldn't sleep. The only other person awake is Vexen, and _he's _no help."

Axel laughed. "Come on in." he turned and reclaimed his spot on the couch, joined by Roxas clutching a warm blanket. Roxas sat down next to him, then leaned against him, using the redhead's shoulder as a pillow.

Counting to ten in his head, Axel took a moment to calm down. When he was confident that he wasn't about to do something stupid, his mind taken over by the heart he supposedly didn't have, he snapped his fingers and the fireplace sprang to light. He leaned back, turning to look at Roxas. He sighed. Roxas was just too adorable. And sitting here cuddled up against him like this...Axel had to admit, he was enjoying it. The fire was filling the room with a warm glow, rather than the pitch black that Axel had been sitting in before, and was actually generating warmth rather than the freezing temperatures the castle was covered in before. "How's that?" Axel asked.

Roxas smiled, snuggling in even closer. "Perfect," he replied slowly and sleepily, clearly already most of the way to dreamland.

Axel looked down at the sleeping blonde laying at his side, breathing shallowly, and everything seemed somehow right to him. Forget obstacles, forget complications, forget limits - where the two of them were now suddenly was just fine to Axel. He smiled, leaning his head against the couch.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Perfect."

For once, it seemed, luck was on his side.

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**A/N: **My first try at angst, too...I hope it didn't turn out too badly! bows Review! (you _know _you want to.)


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